The God of Death does not bake, Nor does the Pe...
by Neo-Queen Terra of Crystal Tok
Summary: Look at the title they allow me to put up. Because of much demand I added a second chapter. Terra comes and wants her cake.. Please R & R.
1. Default Chapter

The God of Death does not bake, nor Does the Perfect Soldier  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing, or anything that I may mention that I don't belong to me.   
  
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"I need you to make an anniversary cake," said Neo-Queen Terra.  
  
"It's 5 o'clock in the morning!" said Duo.  
  
"I will be back at 6 tonight."  
  
Then she left.  
  
"Wait," Duo yelled, "What's an anniversary cake?"  
  
"You don't know what an anniversary cake is," said Heero who woke-up from the yelling.  
  
"I know what a cake is, but what's an anniversary?"  
  
"It's a day that you celebrate something special, like your wedding or something on those lines," said Quatre, who just came back from his daily jog.  
  
"Okay, which of you, bakas, woke me up?" Wufei said.  
  
"That one." Heero pointed at Duo.  
  
"It wasn't me," Duo said, "Terra came and woke me up. So it's her fault."  
  
"But you're the one that woke me up."  
  
"Don't fight." Said Quatre cheerfully.  
  
"You're too cheerful for 5 in the morning," said Duo.  
  
"I'm a morning person."  
  
"But at FIVE O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING!"  
  
"The early bird get the worm."  
  
"I doubt the early bird is up at this hour and if you don't mind, I'm going back to bed." Heero said.  
  
"You got mail," said Heero's laptop.  
  
Heero went to his laptop and read his new mail.  
  
"Mission declined," he responded to it.  
  
"You got new mail."  
  
Heero read his new piece of mail.  
  
"Terra is evil."  
  
"I'm been saying that for a long time now," said Duo.  
  
"Let make this cake." Heero said angrily.  
  
"First we need to find a recipe," said Quatre.  
  
"Let's make a carrot cake," Duo said.  
  
"Terra hates carrots."  
  
"The more of a reason to make it."  
  
"She wants a chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream cake," Heero said.  
  
"That sounds easy."  
  
"Ice cream cakes are one of the hardest cakes to make," Wufei said.  
  
"You're still here. I thought you went back to bed," said Heero.  
  
"I couldn't. Besides I want to see you bakas bake a cake like an onna."  
  
"How do you know an ice cream cake are so hard? Huh?" Duo asked.  
  
"Ancient Chinese secret."  
  
"He's buffing. Let's go get some ice cream."  
  
"And a box of cake mix," said Quatre.  
  
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"So we add the eggs, water, and ice cream. Then mix," said Duo.  
  
"No, you baka. Just the eggs and the water," Heero said.  
  
"Sir, yes, sir."  
  
Duo mixed the indigents together in a plastic bowl.  
  
"Then what?" he asked.  
  
"We bake it," said Heero.  
  
"Okay."  
  
Duo opened the oven door and just when he was about to put the bowl in, Quatre yelled, "You can't put a plastic bowl in the oven! You'll melt it." Quatre yelled.  
  
"But I thought only army men melt in the oven."  
  
"You are a baka," Wufei said as he laughed at him.  
  
"Pass me a baking pan, Heero," Quatre said.  
  
Heero took a skillet out of the cabinet and handed it to Quatre.  
  
"That's not a baking pan," said Quatre.  
  
"The oven not working." Said Duo.  
  
"WHAT!"  
  
Quatre looked in the oven.  
  
"Duo, didn't I told you not to put your toys in the oven a couple of months ago?"  
  
"Yes, but they were being torture and the microwave wasn't melting them."  
  
"I had it! I leaving you two bakas to bake the cake."  
  
Quatre stormed out.  
  
"So, how are we going to make the cake?" Heero asked.  
  
"Nuke it!" Duo replied.  
  
"What?"  
  
"You can make anything in the microwave."  
  
"What?"  
  
"And the bowl is microwave safe, see."  
  
Duo flipped the bowl over to point out the microwave safe sign, and all of the cake mix fell out.  
  
"5 seconds rule," he shouted as her quickly picked the cake mix off the floor and put back in the bowl.  
  
"I wish I have a camera right now," said Wufei," Terra would love to see this."  
  
"You wouldn't. And if you do, you will feel the wrath of the god of DEATH!"  
  
"Is that worst than the wrath of Khan?"  
  
"10 times."  
  
"I leaving you two now."  
  
"Running away I see like the chicken you are. Besides you wasn't helpful anyway."  
  
"How did we get stuck with making the cake?" Heero asked.  
  
"Terra has it out for us for some strange reason."  
  
"I knew it. That's why she gave me emotion in her first fic."  
  
"Second."  
  
"She wrote one before it?"  
  
"Yeah. It sucked big time. I like making fun of it. We should do a MSTing to it!"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Let's become fan-fic writers and do a Mystery Science Theater on Terra's first fic 'Guardians of the Dimensions'."  
  
"What about the cake?"  
  
"Just forget about it."  
  
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Please review or feel the Wrath of Terra!  
  
"Is that worst than the wrath of the god of death?" said Katie.  
  
"Much, much worst."  
  
A/N- You are probably wondering how I know army men doesn't melt in the microwave. My little brother tortures his army men. That how. And I thinking of having Duo and Heero MSTing my first fic. 


	2. The Msting of Guardians of the Dimension...

[The MSTing of] Guardians of the Dimension  
[By. Heero and Duo]  
Disclaimer: I do not own Pokemon,[Duo: Who wants too?] Digimon, and Sailor Moon. But I do own Sailor Earth.[Duo: So bow down at her feet!]  
  
This is my FIRST fanfic, so be kind.[Heero: And should be the last.]  
  
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(In a crystal palace, three dark figures are talking)[Duo: About world denomination!]  
  
Woman Voice: We need help.[Heero: Getting my shoe untied.]  
  
Old Man Voice: What kind of help?   
  
Woman Voice: We need someone that has determination...  
(Flash a picture of Ash, Misty, and Brock)[Duo: Sorry wrong picture. (Put a picture of himself over of Ash and the Gang)]  
  
Pokemon Voice: ...brave...  
(Flash at a picture of the Digi-destined)  
  
Old Man Voice: ... and short skirts.  
(Flash at a picture of the Sailor Scouts) [Heero: (shocked) It's Doctor J!]  
  
The Guardians of the Dimensions  
  
(In a Field, Ash, Misty, and Brock is fighting a trainer)  
  
Ash: Pikachu, I choose you.   
  
Pikachu: Pika, Pika. [Duo: Translation- Why am I with this freak again?]  
  
(In an Alley, the Sailor Scouts are fighting a freaky looking bad guy)  
  
Venus: Venus Love-Me Chain Surround [Duo: She can love me if she wants to.]  
  
Bad Guy: I broke a nail. [Heero: Wimp!]  
  
(In a desert, the Digi-Destined are fighting an evil digimon)  
  
Veemon: Veemon digi-volve to... [Duo: Ymon. Heero: What? Duo: X Y Z Heero: I still don't get it? Duo: The ABCs.]  
  
Flamedramon: Flamedramon the Fire of Courage. [Heero: Are you sure?]  
  
(All three scenes are on the screen at the same time. Ash, Misty, Brock, Sailor Scouts, and the Digi-destined and there digimon gets pull into a ball of energy [Duo: I hate when that happens.] and get sent to a room with a big staircase that lead into a hallway in the crystal palace.[Heero: Ain't that on L1.])  
  
Davis: Hey! I was about to win. [Heero: Yeah, right.](To the sky. He is waving his fist in the air)  
  
Mercury: This place is not on my computer. [Heero: What do you expect? That's an old model.](To Sailor Moon)  
  
Brock: My name is Brock. What yours? (To Mars) [Duo: The God of War.]  
  
Jupiter: That guy looks like my ex. [Duo: What she still loves me?] (To Venus about a Digi-destined)  
  
Pikachu: Pika, Pika. [Duo: Translation- Yes, I loss the loser.] (to Agumon)  
  
Agumon: What? (To Pikachu)  
  
(All taking loudly together like a school cafeteria [Heero: That reminds me. We still need to make that cake.], the three dark figures walk out the hallway but do not go down the stairs [Duo: I don't blame them. They bunch of freaks down there.])  
  
Pokemon Voice: Quiet! [Heero: Meowth is in this. Duo: What's a Meowth? Are you watching Pokemon? Heero: No.]  
  
(Everybody stop talking and looks up to where the voice is coming from)  
  
(The three dark figures come in view and there stands Gennai on the right, Mewtwo on the left, and a Sailor Scout that look like Pluto but have brown hair and the clothes color are different) [Duo: And behind them all is the great Deathsycth.]  
  
Mars: Who and what are you?  
  
Tai: Hey it Gennai. [Heero: You mean Jedi.]  
  
Gennai: Hi Kids.  
  
Sailor Scout: Quiet!  
  
Gennai: Sorry. [Duo: Not really.]  
  
Sailor Scout: My name is Sailor Earth. [Duo: Me like.]  
  
Mewtwo: My name is Mewtwo. [Heero: He wasn't good even to be Mewone.]  
  
Davis: It a digimon.   
  
Ash: What a digimon? [Duo: The greatest question of all time.]  
  
Earth: Quiet! [Heero: She worst than the Doc.] Gennai.  
  
Gennai: As you know already my name is Gennai. [Duo: Or are you?]  
  
Earth: We need you help. [Heero: To untie my shoes. Duo: She's not wearing lace-ups. Heero: That's the problem.] (Pause for a minute) Gennai, the hologram.  
  
Gennai: Oh yeah. Let me see where did I put it? [Duo: OMG, I left it in my other pants.](Searching his pockets and then he hit himself in the head) Now I remember. [Heero: Note- Hitting yourself on the head makes you remember things.](He put his hands out and a light comes out of his fingertips) [Duo: Don't look at the light.]  
  
(A hologram comes on, when Earth is talking you only see the hologram) [Duo: But I want to look at Earth.]  
  
Earth: I am the guardian of the dimension, [Duo: I wonder how you get that job.] and Mewtwo and Gennai are my assistant.   
They help me keep the dimension safe, and that they won't find out about each other.   
  
(When she is giving the speech, pictures of the dimension living peacefully and Mewtwo, and Gennai helping Earth fight people who are trying to take over the dimension) [Heero: Duo, I didn't know you where in it?]  
  
Cody: If you don't want anyone to know about the dimension, why are you telling us? [Duo: So we can sue you later on.]  
  
(The hologram stops)  
  
Earth: As I told you before we need your help. [Duo: To untie my shoes.]  
  
Ash: Why do you need our help? [Heero: Why not Oz?]  
  
Mewtwo: I got this one. [Heero: Or does he?] There is a legend [Duo: What Tom Cruise is in this too?], that if you control the dimension, you will get an ultimate power. [Heero: Put I already has the ultimate power.] Some people say it's a myth, but only a few know it's true. [Heero: It like the Gundams, you see.] There is a group, who what to take over the dimension to get this power. Unfortunately he evil, not good...  
  
(The camera zoom out and Mewtwo still talking)[Duo: I'm going deaf!]  
  
(Outside the palace)  
  
(You see the lips of a girl)  
  
Girl: Revenge will be mine. Muhahahahahahahahaha. Troops attack. [Duo: It seems like Marimaia is in this too.]  
  
(Back inside the palace)  
  
Earth: That the plan got it. [Heero: No.]  
  
(You hear people running through the halls, the ground begins to shack, and piece of crystal from the palace. [Duo: And kills everyone! Muhahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!] Earth, Mewtwo, and Gennai run down the stairs.)  
  
Gennai: It's an attack! [Heero: No duh.]  
  
Earth: Take them to the transporter.   
  
Mini Moon: How about you are you coming?  
  
Earth: No, I got to stay here to protect my planet. [Heero: Isn't that courageous?]  
  
(Everybody leaves, except Earth, in a hidden door in the wall [Duo: You'll right, it is in the Peacecraft castle.] , and a dark figure comes down the stairs.) [Heero: Terra and her dark figures.]  
  
(You only see Earth)  
  
Earth: So, we met again. [Duo: (hums the first line of Beethoven 5th Symphony)]  
  
(The transporter room)  
  
(There are three staffs and a ball of energy in the middle. The staffs give power to the ball of energy. [Duo: I thought staff was only good for hitting someone with.] There is a computer [Heero: Hey, they stole me computer!] on the a table that control where the ball of energy send you.)  
  
(Gennai is typing on the [Heero: My.] computer.)   
  
(When there are talking, the ball of energy grows larger)  
  
Mewtwo: Is this going to work. [Duo: No.]  
  
Gennai: It should.  
  
Mewtwo: What do you mean it shou... (They jump in the ball of energy before he finish) [Heero: I hate when that happens, don't you?]  
  
(The camera zoom to the computer, and it show a like this.)  
  
[Duo: Like what?]  
  
  
  
(The ground begin to shack and a piece of crystal from the crystal palace hit something that made Earth change into Crystal Tokyo, and 2000 A. D. change into Present) [Heero: What?]  
  
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I hope you like it. [Duo: We didn't.] I didn't know how they tell time in the digi-world or pokemon, so I just made something up. [Heero: I don't either, but I don't make a big deal about it. Duo: You should, if you the perfect soldier and all. Heero: They didn't even teach me how to read time.] And you want to know what Earth look like, just click on my name and a picture the picture of me is Earth. I try to find the attacks, but I couldn't find them on the Internet, so some will not be correct. Please Review. [Duo: Let not, and say we did.] 


	3. That's a Funny Story You Know

The God of Death does not bake, nor Does the Perfect Soldier  
Part Two: That's a Funny Story You Know  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing, plus anything else I might mention.   
  
I decided to add on because people like it sooo much.  
  
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"Oh G-boys. I here to get my cake," said Terra as she walked in their house at   
exactly six o'clock.  
  
She didn't hear anything, so she started to look around and found the house   
vacancy.  
  
"Where did they go? They knew I was going to be here at this time. I should see   
if they made my cake."  
  
Terra walked into the kitchen and while she was in there, Heero and Duo was in   
the closet hiding.  
  
"Do you think she will find us Heero?" said Duo.  
  
"Hopefully not," Heero replied.  
  
"What will happen if she does?"  
  
"I can't think of the evil that will come onto us. Trust me it will be   
horrible."  
  
"Like stuck in a room with nothing but Barney on the tv."  
  
"Worst."  
  
"Worst than Barney. Nothing worst than Barney."  
  
"Oh she will think of something worst than Barney."  
  
"God I know I haven't believe in you, but now I do. Please don't let Terra find   
us. PLEASE! I'm begging you. Please don't let her find us."  
  
"What are you doing baka?"  
  
"Praying to God. Do you think he will hear us?"  
  
"I don't know. Try some other ones just in case."  
  
"Okay. Do you know some other ones?"  
  
"Try the ones from Hercules or Xena."  
  
"Okay. Ares, god of war, please don't let Terra find us."  
  
"Why are you praying to the god of war? He probably wants Terra to find us."  
  
"But he was on the show most often."  
  
Then suddenly the door of the closet opened up, and Heero and Duo fell out.  
  
"Looky who I found," said Terra.  
  
"We're dead," said Heero.  
  
"Where's my cake?"  
  
"That's a funny story you know," Duo said.  
  
"Yeah, very funny," Heero said.  
  
"Can you tell me the story?"  
  
"Yeah, Duo tell her the story."  
  
"Okay we were on our way to the store to by the stuff for it when a big tornado   
came and um... took our car like in the Wizard of Oz and we fell in um...um..."  
  
"Oz territory without our gundams," Heero added.   
  
"Yeah. In Oz territory and tons of Oz soldiers came and started shooting at us,   
so we had to ran away. We ran so far and fast we found us self in...um..."  
  
"Namek."  
  
"Yeah Namek."  
  
"In the middle of the martial acts torment."  
  
"And five girls in this really small shirts where fighting this glowing dude.   
Then the Scooby-Doo Detectives came and revealed the glowing dude was actually."  
  
"A llama trying to get back to um..."  
  
"The Peacecraft Estate."  
  
"So we hitch a ride with him. Then these aliens from um..."  
  
"Mars took us to they homeland."  
  
"They were a shiny blue color and really mean, so we had to fight them with out   
feet because they only feet wrestle. We beat them, so they beamed us to the   
Enterprise in mistake."  
  
"And they thought we were Klingons in disgust, so they held us captive, but   
these two guys dress up as um.. stormtroppers helped us escape."  
  
"They were actually helping this duchess with hair that looked like muffins but   
we were in the same cell so they had to take us with them to.:."  
  
"The Planet Bob, but we got a ride in this red ship where you have to be in this   
jello stuff to control it."  
  
"Finally we got back on earth, but at 5:59. So we didn't have time to make your   
cake."  
  
"Okay," said Terra not believing a word they said.  
  
"It's all true," said Duo.  
  
"Honest," replied Heero.  
  
"You know what you forget. Some hobbits with a magically ring," said Terra.  
  
"No that's a different story all together," said Duo.  
  
"You got three seconds to ran for your life."  
  
With that warning, Duo and Heero was off.  
  
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Please Review!  
  
What do you think I should do to Duo and Heero? 24 hours of listening nothing   
but Mmmbop and Oops..I Did it Again, maybe? Or watching really corny shows? You   
do you think.  
  
Later!  
  
TNT FOREVER! 


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